There’s no city in the world quite as complex and compelling as New York City.
And from the time I first set foot here as a tourist more than 10 years ago, I knew walking these streets as a savvy, fast-walking, subway-taking resident was going to be part of my story. I just didn’t know what a weird/conflicted/incredible/frustrating/fabulous story it would be.
I think there are two types of people in this world: those who absolutely love/hate New York City and those who just plain hate it. There isn’t a middle ground here. New York isn’t a city you can kind of like. It will make you too impassioned to be indifferent.
The problem is, if you’re anything like I was, or many people are before they move here, you’re building the city into a dream place filled with the lights and love and opportunities and excitement you could feel all around you when you spent a handful of perfect days here as a visitor who didn’t have a 9 to 5 on the itinerary.
But we all know real life isn’t quite like that. So for anyone interested in moving to New York City, here’s a look at what it’s really like. For anyone who already lives here, let’s commiserate.
The facts
It’s hot. It’s cold. There are people everywhere, but also opportunities. The city really never sleeps, which means sometimes you don’t either. It’s exhilarating, and sometimes just catching the Empire State Building in the backdrop of your walk to work still feels exciting. It’s fast. It’s fun. It’s fabulous. It’s fierce. It’s the kind of place you’ll be so proud to call home, that you’ll unknowingly (or knowingly) scorn other lesser cities for what they don’t offer to the world. Like late, late night eats from anywhere in the world, happy hours that turn into all-night fetes, brunch that lasts until 4:00 pm, parks that play free movies in the summer, a meet-up or group or activity for absolutely any single thing you could ever think of doing, and pizza no one can compete with. But New York City is also dirty, lonely, strange and likely to make you burst into tears in a very public place at one point or other, which, really, is a rite of passage here. It’s really all of the things all at once, and everyone has to figure out whether that’s for them or kind of not.
The people
New Yorkers always get a bad rap. For being rude, or brazen or apathetic—which they are and aren’t. What most people leave out is the mention of the scores of tourists milling about in the middle of the street or casually strolling five people across, which makes the New Yorker (rightfully) scoff. If you really think about it, which party is the ruder of the two? The one simply trying to do what they’re doing or get where they’re going? Or the ones thinking they own the place even though they’re not from there and everyone else should navigate accordingly? I’ll leave this one here for you to decide, but making sure you have the whole story before New Yorkers get called out. One thing I will say that I’ve never experienced in another city as much as I’ve experienced it here, New Yorkers are (generally) good citizens and they will help you out. I’ve seen delivery guys take out a man who tried to rob an old lady and hold him there until the cops came, I’ve seen half a subway car of people get off the train to care for a pregnant woman feeling faint, and I’ve seen a woman give a full “winter care package” she had prepared specifically for homeless people should she encounter them. New Yorkers will have your back.
The weather
This one’s pretty simple. For much of the summer in the city, it’s hellishly hot. And when you’re down in the subway where it’s 95 degrees and muggy and smelly and beads of sweat are running down your face and your legs and whatever else, you’ll think: what the heck am I doing in this place? For much of the winter in the city, it’s pretty cold. And when you look up seven months after the cold began and realize it’s a blizzard in April and they haven’t shoveled the snow out of Brooklyn so you slip and twist your ankle but still have to hobble to work in a boot because this happens to everyone so no one cares, you’ll think: what the heck am I doing in this place? Those are the extremes of course. They tell you spring and fall are nice here, but spring is really winter that’s slightly less wintery and fall lasts about two weeks.
All of that said, however, summers are beautiful in the city. The parks are typically the stars of the show, with free summer concerts or movies under the stars or pop-up picnics where everyone is beautifully dressed in white. It’s a magical place to be. And when it gets too hot, that’s when you turn to all the great weekend escapes the surrounding region has to offer.
The logistics
Ah, the New York City subway. A place that at once makes you feel like you can go anywhere from there, and that you’d like to go anywhere but there. Listen, the subway is convenient. Barring “train traffic ahead” or “signal problems” or “a sick passenger” (one of which is guaranteed to happen at least once every train ride without fail, and none of which is probably ever the whole truth), taking the train is not so bad. Instead of navigating traffic and having to keep your eyes on the road, you can read, write, play Candy Crush, zone out, listen to music.
Now, the bad parts of riding the train are pretty bad. In the summer time, you’re guaranteed to have your face uncomfortably close to a strange armpit. And sometimes the AC won’t work. At any time, you’ll find one person yelling at another because one of them thinks the other should not have tried to squeeze themselves into the already crowded train. In the last week alone, I’ve seen vomit in two places on the way home and in two different places on the way to work, a drunken man exposed and peeing in perfectly plain sight, a man playing creepy songs on an accordion who always has two pastries stacked on top of each other on the ground (as in, unwrapped pastries on the actual ground) about 5 feet away from him, and a man sitting on the floor of the subway car brushing his teeth with no toothpaste or water. But none of that compares to my friend whose friend had a crazy person throw a whole live rat at him on the train. The good news here is that one day you’ll sit around a table of friends, trading crazy stories about subway sightings, and you’ll wear them like a badge of honor.
The work
People in New York did not come to play with you. Here, people are focused. They’re about their business or their dreams. Or both at the same time. It’s different than in places like L.A., where it can seem like everyone is an actor/model/rapper/producer, which all essentially means they’re working on a dream while working in a restaurant. There’s nothing you can’t do here, but that also means everyone’s here trying to do some of the same things you are. And New York brings out the best of the best from all over the world when it comes to talent. So while it’s a blessing to be counted among them, and to ‘make it here,’ be prepared for the hustle. But you’ll be proud of yourself for what you realize you can accomplish.
The culture
You can hardly walk five steps in New York without hearing someone speaking another language—sometimes one you recognize, sometimes one you don’t. Each culture brings a vibe to the city that makes it unique, richer. And that also means there’s no type of cuisine you can’t find here. For food lovers, New York City is paradise. In the last month alone, I’ve had Senegalese food in Harlem, Peruvian food on the Upper West Side, Mexican tacos on the Lower East Side, Indian food from my local neighborhood spot, Barbecue in Gowanus, Trinidad roti and doubles in Bed-Stuy, and fresh mozzarella and roasted red peppers from a 100+ year old Italian institution in Park Slope. There’s nothing you can’t eat here and nothing you can’t do here, and the access to culture has created a pretty well-rounded, open, accepting citizenry.
The cons
Rats. In the subway and in your apartment, which you’ll feel like you need to move from the first time you see one until you realize, it is what it is.
Trash. It’s everywhere, all the time and I really don’t understand.
People. They’re also everywhere all the time and I understand but I don’t always like it.
Yellow cabs. They may be convenient, but they also won’t take you somewhere they don’t feel like driving, they won’t take you cross town at rush hour and, for them, it’s always rush hour, and some will take a roundabout way, unbeknownst to you if you’re new here or accustomed to traveling underground, and you’ll either have to pay or curse. Sometimes both.
You probably won’t have a car, so when you decide you want to flee the city, you’ll have to decide if taking a train to a bus to an Uber is actually worth it.
Broker fees. You’ll have to pay them to realtors to show you an apartment, and it’s usually 5-10 percent of the yearly rent, which means you’re easily dropping $2,000-$3,000, not including the first and last month’s rent, plus the security deposit you’ll likely have to pay your landlord. Moving is no joke. And then you’ll be giving up half your funds (or more) for rent.
The pros
Excitement, constantly.
Absolutely, positively no shortage of really cool things to do.
People. You may not make tons of friends here, but you’ll make interesting ones who will be beautiful parts of your story. As far as significant others go, there’s an endless pool, which can be equal parts a good and a bad thing.
Culture. If you get trapped here, working long hours and hustling to get by, at least you’ll still feel the world at your fingertips.
You probably won’t have a car, so you won’t have to deal with parking that costs $12 for every 15 minutes, trying to find the one of five gas stations in Brooklyn or trying to shovel said vehicle out of three feet of snow and hoping it will somehow still start.
Laundry service. (For those who don’t yet speak New York, laundry service is when someone picks up your laundry, washes it, folds it and returns it back to your house). It may actually be one of the single best things that’s ever happened to you.
The promise
If you decide to live in New York, it’s a decision you’ll probably never regret. Even if you eventually decide the hate part of your love/hate relationship with the city outweighs the love part and you bail. It may be the place you create the career you always wanted and make the contacts many others couldn’t dream of having. It may be the place you have the best apartment you’ll ever live in because you found a gem in Brooklyn with a private back patio. It may be the place you meet the love of your life, who you’ll love even more when they cut your rent bill in half and you feel rich! It may be the place that gives you everything you ever hoped it would, even if you had to let some of those other unsavory things in with it.
One thing that’s entirely true about this place: New York City is where dreams are made.