Traveling with friends definitely has its perks and drawbacks, but it’s something that should be very, very carefully considered.
Why? I’d say Mark Twain put it best with this line:
I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.—Mark Twain
That statement is highly true and should serve as wise words of warning when thinking about who to take a trip with.
To travel with friends or not to travel with friends, isn’t really the question to ask yourself if you’re not particularly a fan of the solo travel vibe and prefer to adventure accompanied, but what you should consider is which of those friends it’s really best to travel with. Because, as we well know, some people are the worst and nobody has time to let those people spoil what could have been a perfectly wonderful trip.
I’ve learned over the years that some people make better travel partners than others, and it has less to do with how close you are as friends and more to do with whether you are similar travel types.
If you’re the kind of person who likes everything scheduled and planned out pre travel and don’t want to stray from an itinerary, that’s not going to jive with someone who prefers all the spontaneity and the ‘let’s-just-see-what-happens’ kind of experience that travel can bring. Likewise, if you’re the type to chase museums and soak up everything you can learn about a place, traveling with someone who’s only concerned with beaching and partying isn’t going to work out well either.
That said, here are some good dos and don’ts to live by when considering a travel partner.
Dos
Do think about what you want out of a particular trip. If you know for your first experience in India you want to take trains to traverse the country, eat at all kinds of interesting places, shop for saris in the market, go dancing to Bollywood music at night and wake before dawn to catch the Taj Mahal before the rush of humans, then when you get invited to tag along with a friend and her family, that might not be the best option for you. When traveling with anyone, there has to be a give and take about the things you do and don’t do, but if you think a situation will call for sacrificing too much of what you want to do, that’s not going to be the best trip for you.
Do think about your compatibility with the person you want to travel with. Getting along great when you meet for brunch once a month has nothing to do with getting along when you’re sharing a hotel room for seven days and trying to navigate a new country together. Do you and that person like similar things? Can you both go with the flow and find fun in a situation? Do you both have a curiosity and general excitement about travel? If you can answer yes to all of those things, you might be in good company for a trip.
Do consider the type of trip you’re planning to take. If it’s a low-key beach getaway where sightseeing isn’t on the agenda, you’ll want someone you really enjoy talking to and doing nothing with. If it’s the type of trip that calls for a jam-packed itinerary, getting from one city (or country) to another on planes or trains, and changing hotels, make sure you’re with someone who isn’t going to be a big Debbie Downer if things don’t go according to plan. Because they will not go according to plan.
Don’ts
Don’t only focus on traveling with your closest friends. Sometimes friends you don’t necessarily call at 2:00 am to ball your eyes out over an issue, could end up being better travel partners if you have a more matched outlook on adventure.
Don’t think this trip is all about you. All parties should be able to throw out suggestions for things they really want to do so that everyone gets as close to getting what they want out of the trip. If a lot of the things they want to do overlap with what you want to do, then you’ve probably done a good job abiding by the dos.
Don’t get cranky when things don’t go your way or according to plan. No one likes a cranky pants. Outline one or two “musts” ahead of time, and be happy that you got those things in. Also, just be happy because you’re away from home and work and responsibilities and are fortunate enough to be seeing the world. And when anything else goes wrong, remind yourself that it comes with the travel territory and adjust your attitude accordingly. Otherwise, it will be you who gets left off the invite list when your friends are doing their due diligence in deciding on the best travel partner.