Sometimes, people are just the worst.
And the knowledge of that fact isn’t something I harp on, because then I’d probably be grumpy and mean like those people too, and nobody wants that.
But, what I have noticed over the years is how much people hate on travel. And not at all because they don’t have the means to do it in these particular instances, but for one of three reasons: they really and truly don’t see the value of travel, they see the value and still don’t like doing it, or they just don’t want you to travel because they aren’t/they’re jealous/they’re a controlling boyfriend.
Whichever, the case, I’ve heard some interesting snippets over the years (and by interesting I mean, in my personal opinion, absolutely ridiculous).
Here goes.
“I really like California, why would I want to go anywhere else?”
When I heard my cousin say this, it stung. I just thought, looking at him: how can we be related? But there’s definitely an element of nature vs. nurture when it comes to developing a love for travel, and he didn’t have it. And not that I want to force my love for travel on anyone else, but want I wanted him to see was that he couldn’t possibly know if he’d also love another place without seeing it. I don’t think he recognized that he could love California and spend the rest of his life living there, but still explore and find other things to love about other places in the world too. It’s like discovering your new favorite ice cream—would you have known it was the besticecreamever if you never ventured away from your standard status quo flavor? Unless you’re clairvoyant, I’m going to guess the answer is no. Travel is like ice cream and trying new flavors is part of the fun.
“I can’t see you having a boyfriend because you’re always gone.”
Thanks a lot person who shall remain nameless. This one came from a friend who’s in the not-particularly-interested-in-travel camp, so I had to take her comment with a grain of salt—despite the fact that at the time it felt like a grain of salt being rubbed into an open wound over and over again. Her point, according to her, was that I could never meet anyone if I was always gone. Or if I did, they’d think I was too flighty or unstable. My point, according to me, was I could very well meet someone on my travels and I wouldn’t want to meet the person who thought a love for travel made me flighty and unstable anyway.
“I think two trips a year for work is too many.”
But I met that person and somehow ended up deciding to date him. And even though I was fully a travel writer when he met me and just as obsessed with travel as I am now, he ultimately didn’t want me to travel for work or for pleasure unless it was with him. He did think that loving travel made me flighty and unstable, like I was still acting out some youth streak that should have dissipated once I started adulting. I thought, and I’ll save you from the expletives, this travel-less life with a person who didn’t want me to be me, was not one I wanted to live. (Insert peace fingers emoji).
“It’s great that you’re doing all this traveling now, so when you settle down you can tell your husband about all the things you used to do.”
Ugh. This one came from my dad’s coworker, a woman who I considered to be savvy and independent herself, so her comment surprised me. The thing that non-travel lovers may not realize, is that loving travel isn’t like loving to party until 5:00 am when you’re holding your too-high heels in hand with mascara smeared to prove the night was thoroughly enjoyed. No, that scene is something you can grow out of. Travel is not. Because travel doesn’t have to be irresponsible and wild and crazy. Travel can be about culture and learning and experience. It can be about finding yourself, or losing yourself—whichever one you need at the time. Besides being food for your soul and a recipe for acceptance, travel is therapy on so many levels. And I would probably need actual therapy if I ever had to stop traveling.
“I like traveling but it’s honestly just so annoying and I’d rather stay home.”
For the record, no sir, you do not like traveling. This one wasn’t said to me directly, but something I overheard a man say to a friend on the train. It was almost like he felt the need to rationalize why travel was ugh, so annoying, so he went on and on about why he’s basically just too important to deal with the hassle of going anywhere besides work and home. Yes, sometimes finding flights and getting on them can be a pain and I’m sure it’s no one’s favorite part of the experience, but for someone who truly loves travel, that’s like the crappy fondant you have to take off of the cake to get to the good part. The hassle is a small price to pay, in other words. I’m perfectly happy for people to stay home and not like traveling, I’d just rather they didn’t taint public air with their disdain for it.
“We do _____ better in America.”
This. This one is probably the one that gets under my skin most of all. For one, it’s a complete lack of respect for the way other cultures do things in other countries, and it’s an ethnocentricity that comes, frankly, with a lot of arrogance. This line came from a friend I traveled with for the first and last time, and it was constant. Rather than appreciate the place and the people for what they were, this person chose to constantly compare everything to the way it is in America—whether it was food, infrastructure, practices, whatever—and to them, nothing could top the ways of the good ole’ USA. When I’d had enough and was sure there was no need to preserve the potential for remaining travel buddies, I reminded this friend that the U.S. is quite far from perfect and that if they happen to feel America is the greatest place on Earth, they’d do best to stay home next time. Don’t be this person. We’re still friends, but not travel friends.